I wish I could teleport
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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