Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize