Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
