I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
