The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize