Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
