Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I need to sanitize my soul.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
