Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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