First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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