i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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