walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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