Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
