I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize