You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
