The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
