Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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