i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
