dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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