i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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