Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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