Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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