too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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