She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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