I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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