Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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