i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
