were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
