True but thats because hes a fetus.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
