Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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