All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
