Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
