his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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