You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
