we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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