I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize