if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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