i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
