dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
