Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
