he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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