mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
