remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
