Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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