Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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