Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
