STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
