end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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