Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Two words: blizzard sex
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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