I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
