she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize