Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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