he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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