her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
