why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Who died my cat blue again?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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