Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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