hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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