awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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