If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
