my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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