are you still at the devil's house?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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