so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
