just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
