the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
