whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
