we have pet lesbian snakes
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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