oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
