This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
