hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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