Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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