wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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